Was an overall great day yesterday. Did all my usual routine things in the morning. I went on a walk in the morning as well couple times around the block while listening to the most recent tUG podcast with Tracie Pape. Lots of topics were insightful to hear her perspective on, like her parents' support, empathy while someone may be going through mental and physical fitness struggles, and integration of the way we view ourselves throughout our life and not compartmentalizing it in stages. Something that resonated with me was that it's the kid's job to find out who they are. The parents' job is to help them find out who they are, not to tell them who they are or have to be. Parents can disagree with a child's decisions AND still provide support and their blessings. They are not mutually exclusive. Lot of times I see this dependency between the two as a parental assumption but both can be true at the same time. With integration of all of our selves, we're doing the best we can at that specific time so beating ourselves up for the mistakes we made or having that shame for a lifetime is just an extra burden. I just have to accept that whatever the situation was happened and that I am who I am today because of ALL those experiences. I don't necessarily intentionally bucket my life - wait - I kinda did in the first journal this year with Charlotte & Atlanta & relating that to Monte Cristo. But outside of that I don't consciously think about it much. However, I may dismiss some things I did 'when I was younger' using that excuse. 'Since I'm older and smarter now, I won't make that same mistake again.' I guess that's something like present moment bias when I think I made the 100% right decision in the moment b/c 'I knew everything.' But as I've gotten older, "the more I know, the more I realize I don't know." - Aristotle.
But anyways on that walk, I ran into this 2 year old named Carter who was with his nanny or babysitter or someone. He had so much energy and lots of funny mannerisms. I could see him being a vivid storyteller in his career. I'd ask him one question and he'd go on and have a creative answer for it. The look off into the distance while he's trying to find the right words with the little ~sassy mini-stomp was too much! There's so much potential and unbridled energy that I love spending those quick few min to get some of that from little kids. Used as much as I could from Childhood Matters even though it wasn't necessarily a situation where my lack of acceptance would seriously impact their growth and development or something. Fun little friend I made yesterday!
After I got back from that, ended up shifting the room slightly to make more room for my desk area. As Robin Sharma would say, my 'productivity and creativity space.' Glad I did move things 6 inches - a foot because I feel like I have so much more freedom there. Added a couple of pillows to the chair, initially as a seat boost but since this chair's back rest goes so far back, they're more comfy behind my back. Also freed up some space to the right of the desk so that I have more room for working out / Tai Chi / meditation / harmonium, etc. Also started using the lap desk for my keyboard as well so that I don't have to hunch over ty type. I can type being in a relaxed position seated back against the pillows, legs up off the ground resting on the side of the bed frame, elbows in an ergonomically efficient / healthy position, screens far enough away. This is the most epic desk situation I've ever experienced and I love it! I only have more ideas on how to make it even better in the short term and what my vision for an ideal office space would be when I have a more permanent living situation.
Went to Tai Chi in the evening - learned the next few moves in the form - nothing too eventful there. I did record myself doing it after I came back and sent it to a few friends (in the open space that I had just made for myself). I'll probably post some of it in my vlog or something.
I do find myself struggling to focus on things, especially when I'm not listening to Alpha Waves. I get a tangential thought to what I'm working on and I go down that rabbit hole for a few min before I've realized what happened. Breaks the flow of my activity. Especially if it's deep work, then I get no rhythm to laser focus in. So something I'm doing to help with that is Samatha meditation. My eyes are open but the senses are really off. I should have 100% of my focus on my breath. Obviously that's ideal. If I'm lucky, I'll have 10% focus on my breath throughout the 5-7 min Samatha meditation. Even with the senses technically awake, I have to focus my mind on blocking those sensory signals and zone in on my breath. It's very challenging. But with enough practice, I can get to where I wanna be in terms of my undivided focus when doing something. Like Sathvik said (and he probably quoted it from somewhere that Idk), "As focus narrows, opportunity increases."
After dinner, spent time working on the 2U 2.0 website refresh. I'm excited for this MVP but even more eager to start working on the next version of what I know the website can be. In the meantime, finished up the doc to send over at about 10:45ish. Then I still wasn't really tired so I proceeded to knock out Dec & Jan transactions input so that I'm fully caught up to now. Felt good to mark that milestone as complete going into today.
Slept at 12:15ish and woke up 4.5 hours later. A few yawns to get that oxygen flowing but now I should be good. If I can be fresh the entire day with 4.5 - 6 hours of sleep, as long as my focus only increases, I can get so much done!
I'm sure I'll go into more detail at some other point but I'm not sure if work / life balance is the right way to be thinking about it for me. I used to not be on that train; then I was / am still on the train but the station's approaching & I'm at the doors about to hop off. Idt it's work / life balance. It's really about time and energy investment / management. I was perfectly happy yesterday doing work until almost 11 pm (granted I took more me time during the work day) b/c the time and energy I put into the business(es) will yield a certain ROI professionally, financially, spiritually, etc. So it's up to me how I decide to allocate those resources of time and energy in the overall best way to maximize ROI for my best future self. That co mes back to understanding the current self and future self discussion that I have internally. That comes back to making the most positive ROI activities, the habits I do most frequently. That comes back to affirmations, visualizing who I want to be, which in turn comes back to planning, which itself is a result of proper review and retro and reflection. That comes from action, which if done properly is a result of planning. So it's a great flywheel concept instead of a seesaw balance regarding "work" and "life".
Other random topic was on attention to detail. That's the reason the Bucs won the Super Bowl. They didn't commit silly mistakes to beat themselves. That is a result of paying attention to every little thing. It is intentionally doing everything you want on the field. But I can only intentionally do something if I'm aware I'm doing it in the first place. That is a result of increased perception. Increased perception means that I can notice small & subtle changes, sensations, energy, details so that I'm aware of what I'm really experiencing. Brady brought this level of perception to the Bucs b/c he had years of experience & wisdom mastering it. The leadership trait is underrated here is knowing the right thing to do at the right time. That's sensing the moment, energy, people, etc. To quote Bill Maher, "I don't know for a fact, but I know it's true" that Brady brought this attention to detail through his heightened perception, which in turn raised the group / team's perception to everything in the game and at practice. I just need to apply it to my life now. Am I intentionally doing everything? Am I aware of what I'm thinking, saying, doing? Am I aware of what my sensory perception is ? Am I aware of what I'm not perceptive to? How do I work on that perception? Lots of questions, much time to "answer" them.
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