I've realized, for the most part, that whatever question someone asks, they want to answer themselves also. If I continue in the idea that you can get to know someone the best through the questions they ask, the art of communication can be really simple. Make a mental note of what questions someone asks and then just repeat it to them. Or better yet, go a level deeper with the question that you ask. E.g. "How are you today?" → How are you feeling? What makes you feel that way?" I think this applies most in contexts that a person asks a question unsolicited. "What are your thoughts on X?" It's basically an emotional cue and signal to the conversation partner that 'I want to hear your thoughts on it but really, I want to share my thoughts on it too. I want to be heard.' I want to do a better job of recognizing this in interactions so I can increase my emotional intelligence and conversation ability.
Oh I signed up for a ~1 hour session through Mind Valley for a course on Indistractability led by Nir Eyal. He has a longer paid course on there but let's see how this one hour class is on Wednesday. Sometimes I feel unproductive when watching these types of content to increase productivity. It's almost like a form of procrastination. I feel productive but there's so many other things I could be prioritizing. Of course, I view everything as a learning opportunity so even if there's only 1 small thing that I internalize and make part of my identity, then it's a success. But really to change who we are is the name of the game. Everything is a means to an end of changing our identity, or rediscovering our truest identity. What I believe people who describe others as materialistic is really just the subconscious assumption that external things can change their identity. 'I'm buying and moving into a newer, bigger house so that I am seen to be in a particular social class or have X status.' 'I'm buying this car to seem more attractive to others.' Now these actions aren't impure by any means. However the intentions behind them can be vastly different. Both of these reasonings are fear-based intentions, whether someone verbalizes them or not. 'I'm buying and moving into a newer, bigger home so that I have more physical space to do things that create energy for me.' 'I'm buying this car so I can physically, mentally, emotionally be at ease when driving.' It's the same actions but done with different intentions. Instead of fear-based intentions, it's love-based intentions. In the business world, there are push and pull factors. Essentially, push factors are fear-based intentions and pull factors are love-based intentions. First thing I need to do is be aware of and understand the intentions with which I did a particular action. Then recognize if it was fear-based or love-based. Have to be 100% honest with myself. Not what I want my intention to be, but what it actually was in that moment. Then I can unravel that fear and work towards transcending it. "What you resist, persists. But what you befriend, you transcend." - Robin Sharma. So bringing this back to identity, my automatic setting should be to have every though, word, and deed be a love-based intention pulling me towards rediscovering my truest identity.
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