How did being in a social situation full of external triggers affect my experience with my friends? It obviously doesn't feel great when I'm talking and someone is on their device, not knowing if they're taking notes (in which case I encourage that ) or if they're distracted by something else. I take notes on my phone a lot of times so I should mention that if in meetings I'm typing on my laptop. When I'm out with friends, I keep my phone in my pocket pretty much the entire time trying to be as present as possible with that person. I understand the occasional checking of it but when it's incessant, I become internally annoyed.
Should I do a better job of calling it out as it happens? Probably. I usually take the route of leading by example and subconsciously think that the other person is smart enough to pick up what I am or am not doing. Might be too naïve lol. I actually don't think this is too much of an issue personally because most of my in-person interaction is with coworkers and interactions with friends last 1-2 years has been more virtual, so devices are being utilized mostly productively instead of as a distraction.
Most of the rest of the modules in the quest talked about distractions with our children. Obviously, don't have any but still important questions to ask anyways. Giving kids autonomy, competence, and relatedness is crucial. Do they have enough opportunities to play with other kids without being told what to do? Letting kids play in an unstructured setting is vital for them to keep and grow their creativity. After all, that's when creativity and inspiration thrives for adults. So instead of having to unlearn and relearn that as we get older, let's just avoid that step by always utilizing it from the beginning.
Being open with them about what I may be doing to reduce distractions an important way to walk the walk. I would need to talk to them to understand their internal triggers better. Getting down to that root cause. Let them take ownership of their time and energy by avowing what they will do. Then it's easier to keep them accountable to what they committed to. The byproduct of that is ownership and leadership is instilled into their identity gradually through experience.
I probably wouldn't give kids a smartphone until at least 7-8th grade but it's really not an age issue. It's a maturity / responsibility issue. If they're responsible with one in 5th grade, then I see no issue with it. I also have to respect their time if I want them to respect mine.
Overall, it was a pretty valuable course as I became more aware of my own distractions, what I could do to manage them effectively, track focus as a key daily metric / quotient, among many things. The easy part is done. I've become aware of all this. Now I have to practice with intention one or few things to build into my identity and slowly build from there. I'll want to revisit the concepts and tools so that when I am ready, I can compound that growth with more positive habits and practices.
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