Why do I believe that my career should be an expression of myself?
Because everything is an expression of myself. I think by definition, whether we like it or not, everything has to be an expression of the self. It’s whether we like that expression or not that we make other decisions.
But I don’t think I always thought this as well. Because I’ve only started to fully understand myself in the last few years, starting with the end of my tenure at Capgemini. I had an assumption at Cap that you had to act a certain way. That lunch was a time to ‘escape’ work rather than enjoying work. I believe that I had to not like my job and do things outside of it to get fulfillment.
My beliefs have changed in the last couple of years mainly working at 2U. I can make my own path. I can create my own legacy.
Hmm, I think watching enough things like that to be part of my own mission had a part in shaping my beliefs. I think starting to set goals, intentions of what I wanted to do, who I wanted to become helped me move along that path. Doing things outside work opened me up to how I can express myself.
What about my childhood? I don’t think I saw many role models who lived that out. Of doing what they truly wanted to do. I didn’t have much interaction with adults with any depth tbh. It was very superficial or talking about my current school trials and tribulations. Everyone I saw pretty much worked a corporate job and probably in IT. There wasn’t much interaction with non-Indian adults really outside the context of school. So most of the time, it was school related convos.
I don’t remember any of the convos. But I remember the things that were through extra-curriculars. The things that didn’t fit in to the normalcy. We remember with more vividness things that are different. We notice the outliers.
So how do I make things so different that there is more memory of it?
Have so much of a different experience with things we do that more of them stand out over time. It’s like perceived value that Alex Hormozi has been talking about. Make it 1 of 1. Such a unique experience that they can’t NOT remember it. And feel it. The thing is school made me feel like one of many. That anyone could go through my experience. And someone probably has had 75-80% of my experience. At least through high school and even college.
[random diagram]
So we feel like we have different paths but it’s the illusion of false choice that we have. We all end up at the same checkpoints of elementary, middle, high school, college, and job. Anyone who strays too far way is “not on the correct path.” I think it stems from a concept of 1-1 with time.
Like we think time is a linear function. This 1-to-1 mindset again. That because we’ve progressed from a quantifiable point in the “past” to a point in the “future”, that is the only reality that we can have. That anything that doesn’t follow the rules of time doesn’t fit into our notion and understanding of the Universe. That’s why it’s tougher to believe in the subconscious or the unconscious. Because are you in the past or are you in the future?
But that’s a false question we’re asking ourselves. Usually anything we’re asking with an “or” is usually answered with “Yes.” Because it’s all of the above. We’re always in the past, current, and future. Simultaneously. They are just different ways we quantify the same reality. Why else does it seem like history repeats itself? That’s tougher to grasp if we have a linear thinking of time. Because how can something here (1800) be very similar to something here (2022)?
What if we think of time as circular then? How would that look like?
I actually think it comes to a sphere. Because a cone or cylinder or purely a circle are too flat or too discrete. With a sphere, any point can be the beginning or end. And no matter how you orient it, it’s still always the same. Plus, if we believe that everything is a macrocosm of the microcosm, then Earth itself is a sphere.
Side note. Balance is indeed nothingness because the Earth has so much pressure pushing and pulling from all directions. But it’s just suspended there seemingly. Acting like there’s nothing when you view it from a closer vantage point. But taking a farther perspective it has tremendous velocity. It’s a great example to see how it can seem like you’re doing ‘nothing’ or feeling any imbalance but still progressing fast towards something. Even the distance of the planets can be symbolic of types of people. Some people’s passion and purpose burning so bright like Mercury and Venus. Some people’s not burning bright enough like the gas giants. But Earth’s simply balanced between it all.
Anyways, back to time.
So we can look at time as linear and convert it circular. So looking at our lives, we have 2 endpoints. Birth and death. The general arc of our lives follows a bell curve or normal distribution curve. If we were to graph the distance of the radius / diameter from one endpoint to another on the sphere, then the graph would look like a ‘normal’ one, roughly speaking. Converting this line into a graph.
But that’s the assumption that time is linear. What if we assumed time is circular or spherical? Then things will ‘repeat’ in our lives from the moment we’re born. The pace at which things repeat themselves will get faster and faster until a certain point perhaps and then start to slow down like the sphere as it continues to progress through the cir...
Lol what the hell kinda bullshit am I spewing right now?
What is time a function of then? “There is only 1 law, the law of Karma.” Intentions are just the western way of viewing karma. So the clearer and more purposeful your intentions are (direction and speed), the greater the velocity that your life moves. Is that why we can feel momentum? Is that really when your intentions align with the results? Think of it like a shape...
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[see pics, if they make any sense at all]
I think this integrates with the who we are equation of the cylinder with V = pir^2h. And then time and intentions are how we progress through that. I have all the building blocks of something here but it’s not expressed clearly enough here. I’ll want to clean this up and integrate when I talk about it to folks.
Lol even reflecting on this post, it’s another meta moment. The question was about expression of the self, and like my truest self right now, I said a lot of words without actually saying anything. Lots of ideas without any cohesion. But it’ll all make sense soon enough, I presume.
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