Why do I want to have eye-opening group conversations with people who ‘get it’?
This is basically the taste I got at Lauren’s party. Felt so energized after 4 hours of non-stop connecting when in other situations I would have been mentally and emotionally exhausted.
It’s interesting because the longer I engage in deeper conversations, the more energy creation there is. Like the more ‘in’ something I am, the greater the satisfaction and fulfillment I gain.
Fulfillment. Feeling full, metaphorically / metaphysically. Hmm, does the word imply that you can be completed? Oh snap. Maybe the reason we can’t be content with completing or achieving something is because of our infinitude. If we were only finite, then there is an arbitrary completing of ourselves.
However, no one feels fully complete ever if they believe that are only finite. Or if they do, it’s total apathy, detachment from the world in negative connotations of the words.
If we believe we are infinite, then no amount of the completion of activities or achievements can make us feel fulfilled. This infinitude within us is what drives our desire to make us feel complete. But it’s also the ‘fulfillment’ we feel when we do accomplish something.
Our relation to finitude grounds us in our body and mind. Our relation to infinitude allows us to explore our limitless potential. The actual process of ‘being completed’ is the relation to our infinitude. When we are on the journey of doing something that is closer to ‘completing’ us, that’s when we actually feel that we are limitless.
Hmm, that means you have to have a reference point of finiteness to understand what infinite is. AND you also need to have a ‘reference point’ of infiniteness to understand what finiteness is.
There is a delicate balance between the two. We are not solely finite, nor are we only infinite. We are both finite and infinite!
So finite fulfillment is what we’ve been trained by society to have and be. A brule.
Infinite fulfillment is what we should really ‘be after.’ It’s actually an oxymoron.
I ‘achieve’ this infinite fulfillment when I’m in flow. When I’m focused on my breath and nothing else. In that nothing, I’m able to experience everything. When I’m in this flow state, for example, I’m ‘in’ something. My focus, my attention is ‘in’ something. As opposed to ‘on’ something. But I have just as much flow when I’m working ‘on’ something.
Hmm, is ‘in’ something the finiteness? The parallels would make sense. Society has shifted towards its finitude. Companies tend to work more ‘in’ something. We’ve lost that balance. Of ‘in’ and ‘on’ something. Companies push away the working on something. It’s less tangible, less tactical. Working in the system compared to working on the system. Working in the business vs working on the business. We’re working ‘in’ ourselves and less working ‘on’ ourselves. Or that has been relegated to just personal growth and personal development. Soft skills being ‘on’ or the infinitude and hard skills being ‘in’ or the finitude. Feminine and masculine as well.
It’s all been shifted towards masculinity, ‘in’, finite, rationality in the past few centuries. We’ll have a natural balancing towards the feminine side soon. It’s already starting to happen.
Hmm, creativity is just localizing the infinitude. Same concept. I’ve potentially over-indexed on ‘on’, infinitude, creativity recently. I must get back to that equilibrium, a dynamic one.
It’s a constant cycle of finitude → infinitude → finitude → infinitude, etc. I feel the infinitude coming to be within my body AND simultaneously the physical experience to transcend something beyond words when I’m in those group convos with people who ‘get it’. But I should also have balance with others so I’m not ‘on’ something the entire time.
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