Why do I want these experiences? Against there are so many that I’ll need to tackle these one at a time. I’ve done the work of categorizing them into sub-categories to make it a bit easier. Let’s start with tangible ones. Starting a business.
Why do I want to start a business?
I guess technically I’ve already accomplished this but I intend this to be a business that I can have be my primary income source. To be called Founder & CEO is a vain but true intention.
I want to start creating my own legacy. It’s great being a part of other people’s missions because I’m gaining theoretical and experiential knowledge of what it takes to be a Founder & CEO. I want to take the next level of being in those positions of making the decision and getting credit for the positive impact. But that also mean I bear the responsibility when things don’t necessarily go the way I intended.
I’m ready to level up. I have this implicit belief like life is a series of levels like a video game. The difficulty of gameplay gets harder and harder but so does the mastery of my skill. I would want to lose games in All-Madden so I could make it as realistic as possible to the NFL. As I start practicing and playing games in the subsequent level with worse and worse players, my sense of accomplishment and mastery increases more and more.
When the situation looks the most dire, I want to rise to the occasion. Even in tennis or ping pong, I love the ‘on-the-run forehand passing winner’ because it looks like I’m out of the point but at the last minute I pull it off. Same with catching flights when I would fly standby. I loved the thrill of getting off the Blue Line at O’Hare with 10 minutes before doors closed, going through TSA Precheck and running to the gate just in time.
“There wasn’t a way. But he found a way.”
That’s the way I’ve naturally operated. Make things as hard as possible. Most complex as possible. Most obfuscated as possible. Then find a way to overcome, reconcile, transcend, and integrate all that.
With my discovery of systems thinking, I hope to make things as easy as possible. Living with ease. Being with ease. I’ve fallen in love with extremely simplified phrases of verbose concepts. And interestingly enough, expanding simple concepts to complicate them. Maybe that comes from my wanting to be a contrarian. A silent contrarian.
But I think I start things not to reach a goal, per se. But to achieve mastery. Mastery is subjective. I want to start a business to show that I can become a master of creating and operating a lucrative, impactful business.
“Show who?” is the next question. I think right now, it’s closer to 50-50 of showing myself-showing others. I think an ideal ratio of this is 0-0. I shouldn’t want to “show” anyone that I can do something successfully.
In Rupert Spira’s language, I’m injecting the objective content of my experience into this reality. When my nature should ideally just be to create for creation’s sake.
So there is the answer to the why whose answer is “Because that is its / my nature.” That can apply to everything. This is without the constructs of time, space, and causality. The other why answer does imply time, space, causality.
So I think I’ve defined ideal/idealist/idealistic and realistic/practical. Ideal is no implicit assumption of time, space, causality. Realistic/practical is the implicit assumption of time, space, causality.
So why do I want to start a business? Because that’s my nature (idealistic). AND also because I want to achieve mastery and immortal legacy (realistic/practical).
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